Cinema’s 12 Greatest Twist Endings

1. Darth Vader is Luke’s Father.

2. Soylent Green is people.

3. Rosebud is the sled.

4. Evelyn’s sister is also her daughter.

5. Kevin Spacey is Keyzer Söze.  Wait, what?

6. Hold up.  Was that the ending of The Usual Suspects?

7. Jesus Christ, Rob!  I still haven’t seen it!  I told you to run the movies by me before you publish the fucking twists!

8. No, Rob, the movie is not still going to be fun!  Its fucking tagline is “Who is Keyser Söze?”  How am I supposed to enjoy the movie?  No!  No!  Stop fucking telling me to calm down!

9. I might as well skip it now!  I’ll just watch something else.  Is Se7en any good?  I hear that it has a pretty good twist.

10. What do you mean, “Kevin Spacey is great as the killer in that one, too?”  Are you fucking kidding me, Rob?!

11. I can’t believe this.  I’m done.  I fucking give up.  Really smooth, Rob.  I hope you’re happy.

12. Fuck it. They’re on Earth in Planet of the Apes.