Nation’s Veterans Honored With, Exploited By Free Short Stack of Pancakes At Denny’s

A DILAPIDATED STRIP MALL NEAR YOU—In recognition of their service to the nation, and their marketability to those aged sixty-five and older, the family restaurant chain Denny’s is symbolically honoring and commercially exploiting veterans today by offering each one free short stack of pancakes. “With this limited-time Veterans’ Day offer, Denny’s is affirming its commitment to venerating our nation’s heroes while capitalizing on their highly marketable, patriotic public image,” said a spokesperson for the chain. At press time, our nation’s heroes were being advised that a side of blueberries would run them two dollars extra.

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