Last week Hoboken, NJ man Clay Fremont managed to go through an entire 24-hour period without meekly apologizing to a single stranger. Regarding this monumental achievement, Fremont said, “when I glanced down this morning to check my watch, I realized that it was 11:30 and I hadn’t timidly apologized to anyone since 11:15 the day before!”
Sources confirmed that after Fremont said “Oops, sorry,” when bumping a man’s shoulder on the street, he did not utter another barely audible kneejerk phrase for the remainder of the day. “I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. Normally I average about six ‘excuse me’s’ per day, even higher if I’m in a crowded place. And that’s only one of the canned phrases I mutter under my breath to avoid conflict without even thinking.”
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thoughtlessly blurted out ‘my fault’ after the other guy isn’t even in earshot anymore,” Fremont said. “But that was old Clay. New Clay is his own man, a personification of independence.”
Fremont is reportedly so confident in his newfound courage that he intends to go to a nightclub this weekend, normally a place so dense in apologies that his experience is ruined. “I can see it now,” said Fremont. “I’ll be turnin’ up like never before, I might accidentally bump someone’s hip, and you know what I’m gonna say? Absolutely nothing. I’ll just keep dancing like nothing even happened.”
Fremont actions have inspired other members of the community to follow in his footsteps. For example, marketing analyst Sarah Gerber said, “I know I’m not as strong as Clay is, but I’ll try to cross the one-day mark just the same.”
“Actually I’m feeling pretty good,”Gerber said while walking through a grocery store aisle. “I’ve already made it—oops! My bad! Dammit! There goes that run. I guess I still have a long way to go.”
Fremont’s window of fame may be coming to a close. At press time, his streak was broken when he apologized to the interviewer for speaking too close to the microphone.
