Lincoln, NE – Calling it a vital part of his web watching routine, area masochist Charlie Devita revealed to reporters Thursday that he thoroughly enjoys watching the entirety of each corporate-sponsored advertisement preceding the actually worthwhile YouTube content.
“I have lots of hobbies some may consider strange, like putting my hand on a hot stove, ripping chunks of hair out of my head, and sitting through my son’s entire soccer practice. I have to admit that watching sponsored-content is definitely the sickest,” said Devita as an inexplicable smile spread across his pencil-thin lips.
According to those close to Devita, his wife, Joyce, has tried on countless occasions to reach out to him, pleading with him to go see a doctor about this perverse behavior, but he reportedly “is in way too deep to listen.”
“The best part is putting the cursor on the ‘skip’ button in the corner of the screen and just leaving it there. Yeah, that really gets me off,” Devita mentioned, seeming to literally climax at the thought.
Sources confirmed that not only does he partake in such self-abuse within the confinements of his own home, but several witnesses have spotted Devita indulging in this twisted obsession in public.
“I moved to this neighborhood because I thought it was a place I could raise a family,” said an area mother strolling in a park with her 4-year-old son. “But, its clear that creeps like him are everywhere,” she noted disgusted by the sight of him intently listening to a hired spokesperson talk about Allstate insurance for a whole minute and a half.
“I get that these corporations out there are spending millions on these ads, but he does know they are almost exclusively designed to prime us to later purchase products, right?” a local University of Nebraska Economics grad student remarked.
“Sometimes it’s an ad selling a product that I’m familiar with, but every once in a while, it’s a product or service that I’ve never even heard of before,” the 42-year-old, “deranged weirdo” stated describing his unsettling desire for self-inflicted punishment.
At press time, witnesses spotted Devita taking a 6 a.m. jog around the neighborhood like the fucking pain-pig he is.
