Supporter of Same Sex Marriage Not So Keen On Same-Sex Hand-Holding

Explaining that the practice “just seems a little off,” area woman Doreen Jones admitted to reporters Wednesday that although she is a staunch supporter of marriage equality, she does not endorse same- sex public displays of affection.

“You know, I believe in marriage equality. I really do. The right to freely marry is an indispensable human right. That being said, it’s just a little nauseating when two people of the same sex openly kiss, hug, or express their affection for one another in any way,” Jones said.

“Why, just the other day I saw two women on TV get married and it was absolutely heartwarming. The look in their eyes when they agreed to love each other no matter what happened was beautiful. But then they kissed, and it just kind of put the kibosh on the whole thing.”

While Jones agrees that banning same-sex marriage would be an obstruction of fundamental human rights, same-sex PDA, on the other hand, is “not exactly a pleasant thing to watch” and “adds a bit of a yuck factor.”

Jones, a non-practicing Catholic, insisted that while her stance on same-sex PDA was not “really a religious thing,” she did wonder if same-sex PDA was “I just don’t know if this is what the Lord intended.” Pondered Jones, after watching a man tousle his boyfriend’s hair in public, “the gays are pushing their luck.”

“You have to understand that in theory, I support same-sex love. Love is love, but when I see a man kiss another man on the mouth, that’s gross love,” said Jones.

Claimed Jones, “I support the gays, and the human right to wed is not exclusive to straight men and women, but when I see two women playing footsie at Baskin-Robbins, I can’t help but get offended. I mean, I am trying to enjoy some ice cream with my husband and kids, please do not ruin it for us.”

At press time, Jones was seen passionately kissing her boyfriend in public, which a pair of onlookers described as “nauseating.”

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