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Orphan Wistfully Contemplating What Stepparents Would Have Been Like

Citing a profound yearning for the tenuous love and strained...

  • Jan 24, 2015

Obama to Enhance College Affordability via Expansion of Pell Grants, Purchase of Two Cokes

In his recent address to the nation, President Obama announced his...

  • Jan 24, 2015

US Constitution Replaced With 400 Million-Person Google Doc

Citing an urgent need for more transparency in government and a...

  • Jan 24, 2015

Area Mom Giving Dad Divorce Eyes From Across Table Again

Citing her cold, penetrating stare and distant, joyless demeanor,...

  • Jan 24, 2015

Confused Terrorists Surprised to Find Themselves in Buddhist Hell

THE LOWEST RING OF HELL– Two terrorists, Zaid Salim and Ibrahim...

  • Jan 24, 2015

Living Room Coffee Table Nowhere Near As Messy As It Could Be, Claims Laid-Back Housemate

SOMEWHERE ON GREENWOOD—Consensus slob and excuse-making housemate...

  • Jan 24, 2015

University Signs Slavic Languages Professor To Five Year, $52 Million Contract

In what will go down as an historic signing, the University of...

  • Jan 24, 2015

Study Shows Red Wine May Improve Health of Friendships

According to recent studies conducted by the FDA, red wine has been...

  • Jan 24, 2015

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