Giant Periodic Table In Chem 1800 Replaced With Info On Changing Major

As a response to changing needs among undergraduates, the periodic tables lining the walls of lecture hall 1800 in the Chemistry Building have been taken down, and large, easily-accessible posters for Newnan Advising have been raised in their place.

Explained Chemistry Building manager Theresa Dekker, “What these students really need is a way out. Whatever circumstances might have led them to consider majoring in chemistry or pre-med, they need to realize that there is a solution, and it won’t be found by staring vacantly at some useless table of elements.”

The new 10 x 20 foot posters contain the Newnan Advising Center hours for the entire year, a selection of suggested “cushy” majors such as History and Anthropology, and a humorous picture of a cat holding a banjo. Each poster is also topped with a banner that reads, “It’s not too late” in plain black text.

“I have never spent time in class wondering about Neon’s atomic number or Molybdenum’s molecular mass,” said nursing sophomore Geoff Brook. “But too many times, I’ve sat in lecture with my head in my hands, trying to remember my advisor’s name. Now it’s in my peripheral vision all the time!”

Said chemistry professor Ralph Goldman, “It might seem like I enjoy the field of chemistry. I mean, I’ve been working and teaching in this building for over 30 years, but it all boils down to denial. It gives me hope that no student of this generation will make the same grave mistake I did.”

So far the posters have had a measurable effect on campus life. The number of chemistry undergraduate majors has shrunk to three, down from a whopping seven last year.

Related News