Singer Requires Verbal Commitment From All 10,000 Concert Attendees That They Are, In Fact, Ready To Rock

Attendees of the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus concert last Wednesday appeared ready to rock, but many were nonetheless thankful to lead singer Ronnie Winter, who stopped the concert before every song to verify that each and every attendee was indeed on board with the rocking in question.

“It’s important to check,” explained Winter. “We’ve had some experiences in the past when the audience wasn’t engaged, or just wasn’t there at all. I wanted to make sure that this crowd really was prepared.”

Furthermore, Winter used his questions as a way to engage with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus fans. “Our fans have given us so much over the years,” he explained. “The least I can do is ensure that they’re in the right mindset to be rocked.”

Continued Winter, “The first time I asked, I pretended like I couldn’t hear their answer. It really excited them, because when I asked again, they screamed even louder! That’s when I knew they were ready.”

Many of the concertgoers at the DTE Energy Music Theater responded positively to Winter’s repeated questions. “I felt appreciated,” said local homemaker Kathy Stanley. “I spend all day ready to rock with my kids and all night with my husband, but no one ever asks how I’m doing. It’s nice to know that Ronnie cares.”

Concertgoers later reported that the rocking for which they’d prepared actually only took place before the band played the only two songs to have ever reached a respectable level of fame. For those songs, Stanley affirmed, “We rocked so hard!”

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