Terminally Ill Child Milking It Bit Too Much

Parents and students at Learning Tree Elementary are reportedly becoming frustrated with terminally ill cancer patient Jimmy Roberts, saying he’s been receiving extra attention due to his illness.

Local parent Karen Richards said she has a boy in Jimmy’s class. Richards was supportive of Jimmy initially, but after the doctor extended his projected lifespan another month, she became frustrated.

“At first it was fine,” said parent Karen Richards. “We had an assembly, gave him a stuffed animal, the whole shebang. But that was a whole month ago. Jimmy’s still alive, and still getting extra treatment. Frankly, it’s unfair.”

“I’m not one to complain,” added Jimmy’s teacher, Frank Roberts. “But I’m getting a little frustrated. Jimmy used to turn his homework in on time every day, but now it’s all ‘my lungs collapsed’ and ‘the cancer spread to my kidneys to I can’t come in for the spelling test.’”

Added Roberts, “sooner or later, he has to start taking responsibility.” Classmate Sarah Bentley reported that she agrees and said that Jimmy is just using his illness to “get what he wants.”

“I mean, everyone has problems, but that doesn’t mean we should all get to go to Disney for free,” said Sarah. “It’s just not fair.”

At press time, Jimmy was “on life support,” according to his parents, and thus unavailable for comment.

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