Unemployed Dad Even Less Wanted at Home

Recently laid off for a lack of demonstrated value to his department, former purchasing analyst Gerald Donahue has displayed even less value in his new role as stay-at-home-dad, sources within the home reported.

“He used to be too busy to come to my baseball games or help me with my homework, but now he’s trying to be a ‘more involved father,’” said son Kenny Donahue. “My friends used to think my father was too busy to pay attention to his son’s life, but now they just know he’s lame.”

“I used to wish my Dad would be home more often. Now I’ve learned to be more careful what I wish for,” added Kenny, whose nights of eating TV dinners and playing Call of Duty online have been replaced with father-son bonding.

Donahue’s wife, Carol, is gainfully employed, earning enough income so that her husband can afford to be a stay-at-home dad.

“If Mom picked us up from school, that would be kind of lame,” said 15-year-old daughter Sydney. “But when Dad comes around with his Chrysler Pacifica, all the other kids make fun of me.”

While Donahue’s time away from work has allowed him to focus on cleaning, home improvement work and cooking meals for the rest of his family, Sydney has found difficulties with her father’s constant presence.

“All my cool friends have distant fathers,” said Sydney, whose home life has become too stable to develop the moody teen phase she dreamed of as a young child. “If this goes on for much longer, I might avoid psychological damage altogether. It’s just so frustrating.”

Mr. Donahue was unavailable for comment, as he was scheduling a playdate, the prospect of which caused his three-year-old child to cringe.

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