Everyone Tired of Hearing Mike’s Rock-Climbing Story

After being back on campus for only a few days, Mike Rothstein’s friends confirmed yesterday that they are really fucking tired of his summer rock-climbing story.

Many from Rothstein’s friend group consider his retelling of his summer adventure of scaling the mountains of California as “no longer interesting at all” and “mind-numbingly banal.”

“It’s like… we get it, you know?” said roommate Richie Bale. “The first time, sure. It was interesting. I’ll admit that my adrenaline started pumping a bit when he got to that part where he slipped on that wet rock. Hell, even the second time was still thrilling. But at this point, I couldn’t give a fuck whether he was wearing a harness or not. Really.”

“Sometimes I actually wish that he hadn’t caught himself and that he fell to his death instead,” added Bale. “It would have saved me from hearing about it seventeen goddamn times.”

As Rothstein continues to tell the same story around the same people, friends are saying that inconsistencies are adding to the poor response that it’s getting, making many even question the legitimacy of the story itself.

“The third time I heard it, he said it was the chalk on his hand that saved him,” said hallmate Stacy Lehmann, “But the next time he said he wasn’t wearing any chalk at all! Goddamn it, Mike, get the story straight if you’re just going to lie your way into having a remotely interesting summer.”

Rothstein assured friends he is going to do a photo dump of the trip “really soon, you guys.”

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