Virtual Reality Headset Simulates You Not Looking Like Dork Using Virtual Reality Headset

Responding to concerns that the technology “[looks] fucking dumb,” virtual reality engineers have developed a headset the ability to simulate a world where the user doesn’t “look like a computer nerd with ten pounds of electronics strapped to his or her face,” according to Cool Goggles CEO Bill Brown.

“We’ve come so far with this technology, but we couldn’t figure out how to make users not look like spazzes,” said Brown. “We unfortunately never found a solution where users wouldn’t look like total douche-nerds, but now our customers can pretend like we did.”

While users of virtual reality equipment often feel awkward or uncomfortable in the ungainly headwear, Cool Goggles, Inc. has decided to counteract that stigma by creating virtual worlds where the user is viewed as cool. The first app released for the device involves a series randomly generated characters walking past the user delivering prepackaged dialogue such as “nice glasses,” “we should hang out,” and “you look like a cool person.”

“It’s an unfair stigma to say all techies are socially awkward weirdos,” said Cool Goggles marketing director Kellen Orlovski. “When they use our product, they should get reinforcement that they are not weird outcasts who awkwardly wear electronics on and around their heads.”

Other tech companies have already begun work on technologies to compete with the self-esteem boosting headset. One, developed by former IBM engineer David Winston, attempts to go even further.

“When a friend or loved one starts using virtual reality devices, many consumers wish they could just tune them out,” said Winston. “Our new technology allows users to imagine a world where everybody shuts up about virtual reality devices and goes on with their day like normal fucking people.”

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