by Scatman John
Skap-bi-dop-ba-doodly-doo! Ladies and gentlemen, I’m the Scatman, here to tell you that Hillary Clinton is nothing but a corporate scoobadooby-scumbag! That’s right, I’m sure all you cats know that the Republican candidates are inter-cha-cha-changeable Wall Street puppets, but Hillary is no better!
Vee-do-za-buh-day-pow! Hillary supports more Wall Street bailouts, even though those squares got us into this economic mah-may-mess in the first place. The American people nah-nah-need to be freed from the grip of big buh-bow-banks. Skee-doo-va-zow!
Hillary is just as guilty of accepting campaign donations from spah-vay-special special interest groups as any Republican. Her pah-pah-populist rhetoric is paper-thin. Zippity-bop! She is in the pocket of bankers, and is in no way a true rah-mah-nah-mah-representative of the people.
Don’t be fooled, Hillary and the conservatives she claims to oppose are the sah-va-diddy-same. Her public image is carefully cooba-dooba-calculated and her PR team, I have no doubt, is working around the clock. Fo-mah-nah-day-mah-nah-doo!
For ex-ziggy-zample, Hillary came out against the Keystone XL pipeline just in time for Pope Francis’ vah-vah-visit. What perfect tu-tu-timing. Make no mistake, this is nothing more than a du-bah-du-desperate attempt to get votes.
Understand, I ain’t no crazy Bengha-za-za-zi shoutin’ clown. That email “scandal” is nothin’ but hot air. All that comes out of this mouth of mine is scat and truth. Hillary is a boo-boo-bad candidate, not a monster. Ree-mah!
I’m just tryin’ to inform you of how bop-bah-big a mistake it would be to waste a vote on Hillary Clinton. Conspiracy theories aside, she is simply the wrong choo-choo-choice for America.
Young liberals, I bah-bah-bah-beg you, don’t voo-voo-vote for Hillary just because she’s a woman. Dee-boh-pa-dow! We need real reform, not a corrupt political diggity-dynasty. Change the system, skee-dow!
Elizabeth Warren is where it’s at. Take it from me, the Professor of Scat.