Coach Beilein Channels Harbaugh to Raise Interest in Basketball Season


Beilein has considered splurging on a headset as well.

In an attempt to bring interest back to Michigan’s basketball team after an attention-grabbing football season, Coach John Beilein announced Wednesday that he has given up all pretense of acting like an adult and will begin emulating Jim Harbaugh.

“Mostly, I’m trying to yell more,” Beilein said in Wednesday’s press conference. “A tantrum every now and then on the sideline gets people into it. And not just during the game. I need to flip out at restaurants or something. Anything to build my brand. Hopefully I’ll be the main story on ESPN soon just for running around shirtless.”

Beilein explained that he hopes to “get fans ready for another strong year of Michigan basketball,” and that he has recently instructed his players and staff to eat a strict diet of red meat and whole milk.

Although the basketball team has been considerably more successful than the football program in recent years, Beilein is concerned that the student body will overlook his team and instead remain focused on “that nutjob of a coach who took over for Brady Hoke.”

“I used to have the players over for Sunday dinner with my family, but now I realize that time could be better spent talking about American Sniper on Twitter,” said Beilein.

Players said have noticed the change in Beilein’s character. Guard Caris Levert explained, “Yeah, Coach Beilein used to make us run normal sprints and stuff, but now it’s like a whole different level. The other day, he did this kind of snarling thing. Not gonna lie, it was kind of scary.”

“To be honest though,” Beilein continued, “I don’t really get the khakis thing. I wear khakis everyday, sometimes even a suit, but nobody seems to care.”

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