GOP Candidates Cathartically Remove Jindal from “2016” GroupMe

After announcing his withdrawal from the campaign to be the 2016 Republican Presidential Nominee, Bobby Jindal was removed from the “2016 GOP Race” GroupMe in a unanimous decision by the other candidates. The decision to remove Jindal was, according to GOP front-runner Ben Carson, “not an easy one,” but “satisfying like you wouldn’t believe.”

Immediately following the Jindal campaign’s Friday morning announcement, an iMessage thread without him was created to discuss the group’s course of action. By that afternoon, a unanimous decision was made to “boot that loser” from the GroupMe, rather than continue the new chat peacefully while Jindal talked “to an empty room until they took the hint.”

The move, decried as both “universally petty lunch-table politics” and “par for the course for the Republican party” by Mediaite, is expected to further strengthen the bond between candidates still allowed in the GroupMe. Sources later confirmed that the communication channel had devolved into humorously-captioned memes portraying Jindal’s image immediately after his ouster.

However, this morning’s drama is unlikely to hamper Jindal’s aspirations to be included in the 2020 reiteration of the GroupMe, especially considering the in-person civility of all parties involved. Said candidate Chris Christie, “To tell you the truth, I didn’t mind having Bobby in the thread. Yeah, sometimes his jokes would bomb, but he always threw my messages a ‘like.’”

An impromptu vote to bring Jindal back into the GroupMe “to keep the old crew together” failed 11 likes to 2 after Gov. Jeb Bush ordered a recount.

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