Decision to Temporarily Use Paper Towel As Toilet Paper Roommates’ Best-Kept Secret

The paper towels have reportedly also been used as tissues.

In a shameful moment of ingenuity, Northwood III roommates Rachel Davis and Kelly Anderson have reportedly resorted to using paper towel in place of toilet paper.

“I mean, people kind of found out when we brought Tinder matches back to the room,” said Davis. “But no one knew how long we were wiping our asses with Bounty DuraTowel just because we were too lazy to get more toilet paper.”

Both roommates reported that the paper towel phenomenon began with a normal occurrence: the two ran out of standard one-ply. However, instead of immediately replacing the depleted resource, Davis and Anderson chose to simply move a roll of paper towel near the toilet.

“We just didn’t want others to know we were going front-to-back with what is effectively equivalent to sandpaper,” said Anderson.

The women also emphasized that their past secrets had not been held to nearly the same degree of confidentiality. For example, Davis’ habit of picking clothes off the floor to rewear the next day and Anderson’s habit of moaning loudly in her sleep were quickly disclosed to others.

“The reason that we’re coming clean about this now is that we want to tell others they’re not alone,” said Davis. “We actually think this experience brought us closer together, as Kelly and I found out we operate on an equal level of disgusting behavior.”

Anderson agreed but advised others against pursuing the same path. “Sure we feel closer, but at what cost? If I could do it over again I’d definitely buy some Charmin Ultra Soft and keep talking shit about Rachel.”

At press time, Anderson and Davis had replenished their supply of toilet paper and were beginning to bond over the gray splotches present on their respective bedsheets.

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