‘Only Five More Sleeps Until the Tree Lighting Ceremony,’ Says Obama to Biden

“And tomorrow it will only be four sleeps, right?” asked Biden.

At 8:00 p.m. last Thursday, President Obama reportedly tucked an excited Vice President Joe Biden into bed and informed him that there remain “only five more sleeps” until the 2015 Tree Lighting Ceremony on the White House lawn.

White House sources said Biden responded, “But Barack! I can’t sleep because I’m so excited! I can’t wait!”

“Remember when you asked me how long until the pardoning of the turkey? That was 10 sleeps. This is only half as long. Now, sweet dreams,” said Obama to the Vice President. Biden reportedly awoke approximately 15 minutes later. Sources close to the Vice President said that he read through the Polar Express upwards of three times to “make his eyes sleepy.”

After slightly over an hour Biden became “tuckered out” and fell back asleep.

“Joe always gets antsy when there’s a big press event coming up,” said White House staffer Lily Frankel. “You should have seen him before the Easter Egg Hunt. He started collecting eggs two hours before any guests arrived.”

“He’s also been shopping on Amazon for ornaments for the past month and a half, despite the fact we’ve all told him he can’t put any of them up,” said Frankel. “Word on the street is Barack plans to give Biden a miniature tree for his office, on the condition that the Vice President actually sweeps up the pine needles and waters the tree.”

At press time, sources report that Biden had woken up once more and was seen walking towards the White House kitchen “to see if there were any carrots for Rudolph.”

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