Martin O’Malley Absent-Mindedly Brings Mistress to Campaign Event

O’Malley requested a sidebar with his campaign staff prior to taking questions.

In the midst of a series of unsuccessful attempts to raise poll numbers, Democratic presidential candidate Martin O’Malley suffered an utter lapse in judgement Friday night when he accidentally brought his mistress Adrijana Mlakar to accompany him to a campaign rally in New Hampshire.

The 52-year-old former Governor of Maryland was reportedly visibly flustered and disconcerted as he began his scheduled speech about campaign finance reform, while Mlakar, his 23-year-old Slovene mistress, stood behind him looking at her cellphone.

“Oh, wow. Look at all these people. That’s a lot of cameras,” said O’Malley. “I’m just so glad that we could all be here together today to talk about the, um, future of this nation.”

O’Malley, ignoring the fact that Mlakar had begun to gingerly run an index finger up and down O’Malley’s spine, apologized for his family’s absence at the event.

“Uh, yes I am missing my four beautiful children today,” he said, flashing glances between the cameras and his campaign staff. “They’re great. In fact all kids are great. That is why I’m here today: to talk about kids…and America…America’s children. Yeah that’s it.”

“Jana stop it,” he added, brushing Mlakar off his shoulder.

Despite the mishap, O’Malley’s poll numbers have not seemed to be negatively affected, remaining constant at 4.4 percent nationwide.

Related News