‘Ask A’ Woman Looking For A Microwave to Warm Her Lean Cuisine In

Dear Woman Looking For A Microwave to Warm Her Lean Cuisine In,

I live in an apartment on campus with three roommates who always make plans to hang out with each other, but never invite me along. We all used to be so close freshman year and now I feel like they are trying to edge me out of our friend group. What should I do?

-Lonely at Landmark

Dear Lonely,

Hi, excuse me, I’m new here, and I was just wondering if you know where I could find a microwave to use? I just need to warm up this Lean Cuisine for lunch. I checked in the break room down the hall and I didn’t see one. Well I asked Heather at the front desk and she said that there used to be a microwave in there and that she didn’t even know it was gone. Oh, Carrie has one in her office? Do you think she would let me use it? The box says the panini only takes three minutes to heat up. I wouldn’t even be in there long, just long enough to warm up the Lean Cuisine.

Dear Woman Looking For A Microwave to Warm Her Lean Cuisine In,

In high school I did well in all of my classes, but now that I am in college, I am really struggling with some of the course work. I have considered getting a tutor, but I’m scared that people will think I’m dumb. Should I look for help, or just try to work harder and save myself from embarrassment?

-Stumped in Stats

Dear Stumped,

Hi, sorry to bother you again. Carrie is in a meeting I think. Yeah, she wasn’t there. Do you think there’s a microwave in the kitchenette downstairs, like by the ice machine? I haven’t been down there but I guess it’s worth a look if you think there might be one down there. Yes, I checked in the cabinets across from the break room, but I just found some styrofoam cups and coffee stirrers. I mean there’s got to be one around here right? You can’t be telling me that everyone in this office goes out to eat for lunch. I’ll try the kitchen downstairs.

Dear Woman Looking For A Microwave to Warm Her Lean Cuisine In,

I have been working at a burger joint on campus for a few months and I am worried it’s interfering with my school work too much. I work a lot of late shifts, and I am always tired and sometimes don’t get all of my work done. The problem is that I need the money to pay for school. I don’t know what to do.

-Quickie or Quit

Dear Quickie,

Nope, no luck. There’s just a toaster down there. I did run into Gary and he said that Carrie should be out of her meeting soon. Are you sure there’s nowhere else it could be? I mean I guess I could just eat it cold, but that seems a bit unreasonable. I swear I smelled someone warming something up just yesterday, and I saw an empty Marie Callender box on Eric’s desk when I was walking over here. Well I would ask Eric except we haven’t met yet and I don’t want to bother him. Do you think maintance has a key to Carrie’s office? I would be in and out in three minutes, four depending on if the panini was still cold after three minutes. Okay I’m just going to go home and eat it. Tell Heather I’ll be back at 1:00 pm.

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