Is everyone here ready to party? In México we call it: “fiesta!” We’re also going to bailar—that means to dance. Repeat after me: “vamos a bailar!” Great job, people! We are going to dance and drink all night long, then you all can enjoy your luxury suites. But not me; I sleep on a cot in the laundry room.
Tonight we are going to have a little friendly competition. Who here can salsa? The winning pair is going to receive two free drink tickets! Personally, I have been practicing my moves in hopes of getting some extra calories to stipend my insufficient pay. Some of those drinks come with a whole piece of fruit! Alright, señoritas, find your man!
I’m going to let you all in on un grande secreto: I love my job. I get to hang out with fun people like you every day on the lovely beaches of Puerto Vallarta. I especially love when some of the ladies get too tipsy and bring me back to their room and I get to shower.
And don’t forget, tomorrow we are going to have a little scavenger hunt and talent show for all the kids! I really love hanging out with my little señores and señoritas, because despite how much my wife and I love each other, there is no way we could afford to feed a child!
Okay, everyone ready to salsa? ¡Vamanos!