In light of the upcoming presidential primaries, local man Jordan Mettler has reportedly increased his browsing of social media and political analysis websites to find new ideas he can first momentarily stare at, then ignore if they do not support his preconceived notions and viewpoints.
“I really love the election season,” said Mettler. “There are always tons of fresh ideas circulating the Internet, and it’s great to strike up a healthy debate now and again with someone I’m not really listening to.”
Mettler is currently planning to vote for Bernie Sanders in the upcoming democratic primary, but he says that he is “open to hearing out all sorts of ideas, especially succinct ones that can be immediately forgotten.”
“There’s nothing better to me than seeing my Twitter feed filled with pro-Hillary tweets that I report for obscenity,” said Mettler. “Although I’m currently leaning towards Bernie, you’ll find that I can patiently hear out then dismiss not only Clinton’s ideas, but Republican ideas as well.”
“Personally, I really feel that a valuable way to assess and immediately discard other options is in examining the tax plans of candidates that my unfocused eyes barely glance over and then close the tab in my internet browser,” Mettler continued. “It’s really valuable to both know and ignore how a different tax plan will affect my life and the economy.”
Mettler’s co-worker Alice Holden corroborated his claims on diversity, saying that he had “always been the most open-minded in the workplace,” and that she had “never even thought about appreciating and completely disregarding others’ viewpoints before he brought it up.”
“A long time ago a big fight broke out in the comments section of one of his Facebook posts about Obamacare,” Holden said. “I was really impressed after he asked everyone to explain their views, then respectfully zoned out through every single opinion. It amazes me that, although he identifies as a staunch liberal, he can find the flexibility to ignore so many other ideas.”
When asked how he managed to keep such an open mindset, Mettler admitted, “it can be hard to force myself to see so many things I disagree with, but maintaining a diverse ignorance of the world is very important to me personally.”
