Admitting that they had been forgotten by their former classmate and close friend, LeBron James’ high school basketball teammates reported they were nevertheless grateful for the $25 ticket combo now offered at Cavaliers games.
Recognizing that they had largely been forgotten and left to struggle in an economically depressed city after James vaulted into basketball superstardom, his friends from Akron were still able to express excitement at “the great deals offered at Quicken Loans Arena.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a bummer that LeBron has completely and totally forgotten us by now,” commented Michael Green, one of James’ neighbors growing up and the point guard on their state championship teams. “He’s worth close to a billion dollars now, and here I am struggling to pay rent. But on the bright side, I got to watch him play the Magic with a beer, a foot-long hot dog, and a free Fox Sports mini-towel, all for under $30. I really can’t complain.”
Another friend, Jacob Turner, was similarly, optimistic. He said, “I mean, sure, we’re not all sitting pretty like how he promised we would be back in ’03, and he may not have even acknowledged me when I was shouting his name during warm-ups, but he did mention our alma mater, St. Vincent St. Mary’s, in press conference a couple weeks ago. Plus, I don’t mind being in the nosebleeds instead of right behind the bench—it’s easier to get to my car after games.”
James was unable to be reached for comment at press time, but his former friends were still managing to enjoy themselves as they tried to catch mini-basketballs being shot into the crowd by the Cavaliers mascot, ‘Moondog.’
