Adam Silver Lifts Ban on Defense for Playoffs

“This is just the simplest way to keep things interesting,” said Silver.

Upon the conclusion of the NBA regular season, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver announced that players will now be allowed to start playing defense in postseason play.

“Our regular season ratings were pretty low last year, so we outlawed defense. Some people complained about the ‘purity of the game,’ but the NFL outlawed pass defense years ago and they’re even more successful despite literally killing people,” explained Silver.

ESPN analysts corroborated Silver’s sentiments, noting that the average points per game as well as broadcasting ratings have increased from previous years.

“Our research indicates that the abolition of regular season defense increased point totals by a whopping 25%. Originally, defense was permitted in the fourth quarter. But now with defense completely outlawed, we saw scoring rise proportionately,” stated analyst Marc Stein.

Superstar guard Stephen Curry is one of the most visible beneficiaries of Silver’s anti-defense initiative.

Curry, who is having one of the best statistical seasons ever, has seen his numbers jump from last season’s already impressive MVP performance. “When was the last time you heard anyone compliment my defense? See, nobody’s blocking shots or stealing the ball, so all my halfcourt shot practice is finally paying off,” said Curry at a recent postgame press conference.

He concluded, “I’ll have to start practicing defense before the playoffs begin. Lord knows I’ve been a bit rusty—I don’t think I’ve really tried defending since Davidson.”

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