Senior Contemplates Friendships Worth Abandoning Post-Graduation

Flemming debating the merits of her housemates.

Senior Ella Flemming is reportedly in the final stages of deciding which friendships she will put effort into when she leaves for her new job in New York after graduation, and which she will quietly discard.

“I’m going to be logging a lot of hours working at a consulting firm, and it looks like all my friends will be living in different states,” said Flemming. “I’m a realist, and I need to decide who will get diligent phone calls and Skype dates, and who will be limited to Facebook likes and vague plans that I have no intention of honoring.”

Flemming said that of her core group of 12 friends, she is hoping to keep in contact with roughly six, which she says is very manageable and also “the perfect number” for a wedding party when the time comes.

Although Flemming said she had always anticipated staying close to her freshman roommate, she said she now doubts the friendship can withstand distance and “the complete and utter destruction of everything we have in common.”

Flemming said she will be making her final decision based on factors such as distance, projected income, and most reliable internet and best cellphone reception. At press time, she was reminiscing with her roommate about their freshman orientation while finalizing her list.

Related News