Area Son Dreams Of One Day Running Own Ponzi Scheme

McKinsey (pictured) contemplating the finer points of insider trading, just like dear old dad.

Following the annual take-your-son-ordaughter- to-work day at his father’s front organization, Aaron McKinsey expressed his aspiration of one day running his own Ponzi scheme.

McKinsey, whose parents and teachers have always encouraged him to follow his dreams, has been hoping to orchestrate an unlawful stocks and securities operation since the age of five.

“Of course I want the world for little Aaron,” said his mother Cynthia McKinsey. “His teachers have picked up on his uncanny ability to divert investors’ attention while utilizing a nonexistent enterprise to perpetuate higher returns in the short term. I really believe in him.”

Aaron’s third grade teacher Holly Jankowski claims that though Aaron is “some years away” from attaining the business acumen necessary to fabricate audit reports and manipulate financial instruments to give the illusion that his investments are solvent, he stands out in his class.

“Aaron is almost completely versed in debt and equity strategies,” said Jankowski. “I would advise his parents to enroll him in a fraudulent business fast-track program. He has real promise.”

Aaron’s father Patrick McKinsey, who has temporarily left the country for tax purposes, declined to comment.

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