Report: Dad Needs Your Help With Something

Looking forward to a weekend of rest and reprieve, high school freshman Daniel Rothman was alarmed to discover signs that his father may need assistance with a household project.

“I knew that something was going down after Dad took a walk in the garden,” said Rothman. “It’s odd for him to be leaving the sofa on a weekend, so I took a quick peek out of curiosity, and caught him staring at the fire pit with that thoughtful look in his eye. The last time I saw that look, I ended up spending my afternoon re-potting every flower we owned into some newer pots he bought at the Home Depot.”

Rothman admitted that he was “probably just being paranoid, but [he] just could not shake the nervous feeling.” Rothman later elaborated on his statement, claiming that “[he] saw [his] Dad striding purposefully out to the yard with a measuring tape, and it gave [him] the chills.”

“Our neighbors down the street did a bunch of work on their lawn yesterday, so I’ll bet Dad feels like he has to do something just to keep up,” said Kaitlyn Rothman, Daniel’s sister.

Kaitlyn added that, while she had band practice at 1:00 p.m., a “perfectly timed ticket out of here” before “peak chore time,” Daniel was not so fortunate.

“There’s no doubt now,” said Rothman in a follow-up interview. “He’s definitely got the spark of inspiration out there. Just a few minutes ago he was taking pictures of the yard from like three or four different angles—that’s always the point of no return.” Rothman reportedly cut his comments short, citing the need to “go pretend like I’m impossibly busy or something.”

Shortly after, witnesses reported seeing Rothman reluctantly responding to his father’s call for assistance outside.

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