Companies Seeking Unique Candidates Willing To Follow Karen’s Example

Recruiters seek a wide range of potential employees as agreeable as Karen.

Expressing their intention to create an environment inclusive of all cultures and backgrounds, U.S. companies have announced that they are seeking unique candidates on the condition that they follow Karen Johnson’s example.

  “Our people are what make our companies, and we value a variety of perspectives and talents. That is why we are recruiting candidates with distinct viewpoints who can also emulate Karen’s exact personality: peppy but not, like, annoying about it, interested in sports to the degree where they can comment on last night’s game…you know—normal,” said Lauren Hill, Human Resources Director.

  Johnson, a 28-year-old white woman who enjoys streaming popular TV shows and describes herself as “addicted to coffee,” has reportedly set the gold standard for what companies look for in their diverse mix of unique candidates. While sources say nothing about Johnson is particularly noteworthy, her work ethic, notably her ability to show up to work and do the job she is paid to do, makes her a model employee.

“No matter your race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation—any of that good stuff—we care about the whole you. Particularly if you’re like Karen, who excels in empty banter like ‘I’ve been really hoping the weather would clear up—guess mother nature’s not on our side this week!’ Make sure you show us you’re that kind of well-rounded individual,” said Hill at the close of the company presentation.

  When asked what advice she would give to prospective employees from unconventional backgrounds, Hill emphasized above all the need to develop one’s personal brand.

“These companies are hiring you as a person, not just your skill set,” she said. “During your interview, you really need to signal that despite any differences and adversity you may have faced, at the end of the day you’re just like me: fluent in pop culture and adaptable to any general consensus.”

  “Above all, I’d say to just be yourself,” added Hill. “As long as yourself is just like Karen.”

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