‘Wow, Full House Tonight’ Says Professor Before Taking Stage

The professor plans to win over the crowd with a topical YouTube video.

After straightening his tie and clearing his throat, sources confirmed that newly appointed biology professor Allen Posey nervously scanned the audience before taking the stage for his 10 a.m. lecture last Tuesday.

“It’s packed out there,” Posey said as he poked his head out to see his audience. “There must have been some great buzz on Rate My Professors.”

Sources report that Posey had been rehearsing his routine for several weeks, selecting material to cover, memorizing key points, and practicing shutting down any hecklers.

“I’m hoping this lecture will be my big break,” Posey told reporters as the lead GSI warmed up the crowd with some deadline reminders. “It’s a full house, and you never know what kind of big names might be out there.”

In addition to performing in front of lecture halls, Posey has done routines in several discussion classrooms, online information sessions, and even a guest lecture at his alma mater.

“I’ve got some pretty edgy material about glucose metabolism that I really hope will land,” Posey said before walking out on stage. “There’s always a risk with new material, but the guys in my lab said they really liked it. Worst case scenario I can fall back on my tight five on mitosis and meiosis.”

At press time, Posey’s bit on cellular respiration was killing it.

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