Local Mom Fretting About Yam Recipe, Illegitimate Child Showing Up This Year

Following an afternoon of cooking and baking in her home, local mother Cindy Young is contemplating whether she should broil the yams in the oven before roasting them as well, as if she should be worried that her bastard son from 1989 will show up at her door this Christmas.

Young, who recently read that yams require a totally different skinning process than sweet potatoes, has always wondered when that fateful drunken night at the local sports bar would come knocking on her door. She plans on trying out a brown sugar yam recipe this year, despite her husband preferring a more savory dish.

Mark Julio, who Young has not seen in the 17 years since he seduced her at the bar, is spending the holidays with his mistress in Mexico City.

The yam recipe, which calls for mini marshmallows, could be substituted for candied pecans, although Young doesn’t think pecans will go over as well. She also does not anticipate that her family will take well to her secret love child as a result of a one-time ing in the Winter of ‘89.

“Mom always gets so worked up around the holidays. I don’t understand it, she always does a great job,” commented Chris Young, whose half brother he has never met a er a careful hiding of his identity and whereabouts on behalf of his mother.

At press time, Young was preheating the oven to 350 while checking to make sure the back door was locked in case her illegitimate child tries to come in unannounced.

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