Middle-Aged Man Wearing High School Football Shirt Holding On To Last Remains Of Athleticism

Scherping’s t-shirt and “trick knee” are reportedly all he has left of his playing days.

Forty-two-year-old tax accountant David Scherping was seen exercising at his local gym last Thursday in a t-shirt bearing the logo of his former high school football team, presumably holding onto the last remnants of his youthful athleticism.

“I’ll tell you what, man, Scherp’s really still got it,” said fellow fitness club member Dustin Thomas. “Granted, not much of it, but there is absolutely some semblance of it left somewhere.”

“To be honest with you, it hasn’t been easy to maintain this physique,” admitted Scherping. “I have to work out four or five times a month–mostly the elliptical, of course, ever since I fucked up my back–and sometimes I even walk up the stairs to my office instead of taking the elevator.”

Scherping hopes to continue being active in the future, but only time will tell whether moderate exercise will be enough to allow him to continue reliving his glory days to the fullest extent.

“Man, I can still remember being under those lights those cool Friday nights,” reminisced Scherping, striking the Heisman pose before falling off balance.

“Sometimes I think about trying to join the fathers’ league basketball team over at the Y, but my doctor advised against putting too much pressure on my knees after the cartilage started wearing out.”

“You know, maybe if I hadn’t twisted my ankle, we would have been able to take down Northwest and win state. Man, I probably wouldn’t have even had to walk on anywhere then – I would have had coaches lining up at my door to give me scholarships.”

At press time, Scherping was seen talking to the young woman at his gym’s front desk, leaning casually against the wall to highlight the remnants of a once in-shape body.

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