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Horrified Nation Realizes It Only One Week Into This Thing

Reflecting on a tumultuous first few days of policies enacted by the...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Paul Ryan To Sick Woman: ‘I Want You To Die’

 Ryan reportedly pocketed a bottle of Green’s Cytoxan on the way...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Underinsured Terminal Cancer Patient Just Glad He Had Opportunity To Live In Robust Free-Market Economy

Suffering from once-easily-treated colorectal cancer, terminal...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Housemate Wondering If Dildo In Bathroom Is Communal

Holding the sex toy up for everyone in the room to see, local...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Man Ruins Anniversary Present With Personal Touch

In what sources described as an otherwise perfect anniversary...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Daydreaming Student Returning Attention To Class Decides It Best To Check Out Again

“Yeah, I didn’t really have any idea what was going on up...

  • Jan 27, 2017

The Every Three Weekly’s Look Inside The White House

  • Jan 27, 2017

I Guess I’m Just More Of A Feel-Objectified-And-Powerless At Rick’s Kinda Girl

Sometimes after a long week of classes, work, and studying, all I...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Cleveland Serial Killer Has Trouble Appealing to National Market

Despite his sadistic methods, propensity for disgusting fetishism,...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Study Finds Shirt Inside Out

Noting that the collar didn’t feel quite right, a study by area man...

  • Jan 27, 2017

I Believe Women Should Have The Freedom Of Choice So Long As That Choice Is Not To Join ISIS

I consider myself a liberal and a progressive. I believe in the power...

  • Jan 27, 2017

Father Of Fourth-Grade YMCA Soccer Player Blames Bad Play On Referee, Son’s Genetic Shortcomings

Area man and local Xerox sales clerk John Chason furiously accosted...

  • Jan 27, 2017
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