Schieber, asking to borrow the sex toy for ten to twenty minutes.
Holding the sex toy up for everyone in the room to see, local housemate Colin Schieber recently asked if the vibrating dildo he’d found “lying around in the bathroom” belonged to someone or was “for the house.”
“It’s all good if someone was just keeping this for themselves, but if it’s communal I might borrow it for a few,” stated Schieber, who has neglected to purchase his own dildo since moving in. “I’m not trying to be a mooch or anything, but I figured I’d ask since it’s already there.”
Alan Mackey, the original buyer, has since reported that the flesh-tone dildo in questions was “labeled with his last name,” and “placed in the same drawer as his toothbrush and razors.”
“[Schieber] is always doing stuff like to us,” Mackey told reporters. “One day he’s asking for a Pornhub password, the next day he’s out of lube and just needs a squirt. He’s just constantly asking for stuff and I’m not sure he’s ever contributed anything to the house.”
Despite Mackey’s requests to “keep usage to a minimum,” reports indicate that Schieber has become a regular user of the dildo in question.
“If it was just every once in awhile, it’d be fine,” said Mackey, “but I’ve only used it once in the last week and the batteries are already dead again.”
Though Schieber expressed some regret, he defended his actions, stating that, “I know I should get my own, but I can’t find any with the pulse setting I like online.”
