Sources attending the Presidential Inauguration this Friday reportedly witnessed a slow stream of motor oil dripping out from under Mike Pence’s pant leg during the ceremony, forming a small pool of black liquid around his feet.
“I noticed he was moving a bit stiffly, and I got concerned for a second, and thought that maybe he just slept funny,” said John Steele, Pence’s assistant, “But after I saw the oil, I realized he just had a leak.”
Though witnesses agree that Pence seemed ok while taking the oath of office, several claim that it was interrupted multiple times by “a faint creaking” followed by the Windows start-up noise.
When asked, Pence displayed optimism about the impact of his new administration. “We are initializing an exciting new time in our nation’s future,” stated Pence. “We will work together to construct a brighter tomorrow.”
Added Pence, “Error.”
