Aging Alcoholic Wondering If He Can Spin This Into a Tragic Hero Narrative

Curan ponders whether his battle with alcoholism would classified as “man vs. nature” or “man vs. self.”

Recognizing that his drunken tendencies had him destined for a sad and pathetic death, local man and aging alcoholic Jim Curan recently wondered if it would be possible for him to spin his life’s story into a tragic hero narrative.

Curan, who reportedly came to see the dire state his life was in and the bleak legacy that he would inevitably leave behind, pondered whether there still might be a chance for him to shape the narrative surrounding his eventual death to be one of tragic loss.

“There’s probably not much hope for me at this point,” said Curan, who had become estranged from family and friends and had alienated most of the people he cared about in his life, “but I think if I spin this all just right, people might end up wondering what I could have offered the world if not for my crippling addiction.”

Curan noted that while his dependency on alcohol had indeed caused him to miss out on a lot of opportunities in life, being remembered as a tragic hero would require a little narrative doctoring.

“I think if I were really able to convey how tough the odds were stacked against me, and that I just had these inherent flaws that kept me from reaching my full potential, people might really feel the gravity and scale of my death,” said Curan.

Despite not having any outstanding talents or leaving any lasting legacy behind, Curan cited famous addicts like Ernest Hemingway and Billie Holiday as models for eaking out some meaning from the remainder of his time on Earth.

“I’m thinking maybe if I can write a song or paint a picture or something before I die, I can at least be portrayed as misunderstood,” Curan reasoned.

At press time, Curan was contemplating whether sacrificing himself to save someone from oncoming traffic would really make people feel that he’d left the world too soon.

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