Issuing a warning to any and all fish in the area, a statement released earlier this week by your uncle’s t-shirt reports that it is a ‘bad day to be a fish.’ The report served to confirm that of all days, today was a bad day to be a fish.
Some, including local nephew Jason Wilkins, were shocked by the report. “It was certainly news to me,” said Wilkins. “I didn’t really know fish had good days or bad.
Sabrina Wilkins, local niece, was taken aback by the report as well, adding, “I woke up thinking it would actually be a pretty good day for fish. The sun was out and it’s been getting warmer, but as soon as I saw that shirt I knew those poor fish didn’t stand a chance.”
When your uncle was asked by reporters to clarify the claim being made by his t-shirt he responded saying, “the shirt says what it says. Simple as that.”
The report has been confirmed by several news outlets and marine experts. One such expert, biologist Dr. Emma LeMon noted that “Although there has been a recently peaceful period of stability in the lives of most fish, once Uncle Jack gets out on the lake they’re in for a world of hurt.”
At press time, your uncle’s coffee mug reported that “good things come to those who bait.”
