Least Essential Member Of Friend Group Pulls Chair Up To Booth

Peering around the dining room for an unused chair and saddling up to the end of the table, Evan Bishop, the least essential member of a group of friends gathered at Charley’s last Friday, was forced to sit at the exposed end of a booth that was already full.

Bishop, who salvaged the chair from a four-person table nearby that only three people were occupying, was reportedly not actively encouraged to sit in the booth at junior Maddie Kirkman’s 21st birthday bar crawl.

“Well, I wanted to be in the middle of the table, obviously,” said Kirkman, as Bishop reached over various drinks, shooters and condiment bottles to grab a mozzarella stick from the far end of the booth. “Then between my roommates, my boyfriend, and Ashley from [K-Grams] E-board, we had pretty much filled the booth.”

Sources report that Bishop spent most of the evening straining from his perch at the end of the table to be a part of various conversations that he reportedly “wouldn’t have added much to anyway.”

“It really worked out for the rest of us that Evan was at the end,” said fellow group member Andrew Blake. “I wanted to talk to Maddie’s boyfriend about how the Cubs look this season and I don’t think he really follows baseball.”

While Bishop contributed little to his friends’ evening, other patrons at Charley’s reported that Bishop’s seating arrangement was a “major stressor” on their evening.

“That kid kept scooting his chair closer and closer to the table, but it kept running into the table legs,” said Charley’s patron Anu Choudhary. “It obviously wasn’t getting any closer and was so loud. It really just brought more attention to his sad situation.”

At press time, Bishop’s party was waiting for him to realize that he was going to have to take a picture of the rest of them.

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