Student’s Opinion Of Israeli- Palestinian Conflict Determined By Who Selling Food In Diag

According to various sources, in the span of just two weeks, LSA senior Gavin Brown alternated between a pro-Israel and pro-Palestine stance depending on which organization was currently giving away Middle-Eastern food in the Diag.

Students close to Brown have confirmed that for many years, Brown has touted arguments for why Israeli settlements in the West Bank should be allowed, but experienced an unexpected change of heart upon hearing about a Diag falafel stand run by pro-Palestinian group Students Allied for Freedom and Equality. He reportedly reasoned that “it would be a shame for such a full and vibrant culture to be wiped out by an apartheid state,” before speed-walking to the Diag.

However, sources report that more recently Brown has steadfastly insisted on the legitimacy of the Israeli government. Witnesses saw Brown “nodding sympathetically” to the words of a Hillel representative manning a fattoush salad stand on the Diag.

“Yeah, you’re telling me!” Brown was overheard saying as he grabbed another heaping plate of hummus. “We should add more foreign aid to Israel. Yeah, keeping adding. Double the foreign aid. Why not, I skipped breakfast—triple it.”

Sources claim that, when he can manage it, Brown has reportedly joined in on “well stocked” protests.

“On the day when SAFE was protesting the wall running along the Green Line, Gavin went to join them because last time they had tabbouli,” said Brown’s friend Anna DeWitt. “They didn’t bring any, and in the middle of the protest he just dropped his sign and walked over to join the line for Hillel’s falafel. Afterward he told me he was convinced by the arguments on their posters, but the only posters they had up said ‘SALE’.”

“You can’t blame me for changing my mind over strong arguments,” said Brown of his actions. “It’s a complicated issue. As complicated as the flavors in this hummus.”

At press time, Brown was seen enthusiastically downing a bowl of orange chicken while explaining to his friends that “open trade with China is beneficial for the whole world.”

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