Enough Dumbasses On Plane For Applause To Break Out

Following the arrival of flight 247 from Tampa at DTW North Terminal this past Wednesday, sources indicate that there were enough dumbasses on the aircraft for applause to break out. While plane crew and some passengers were unsure if their landing would prompt some kind of collective ceremony, it was determined that there were enough idiots aboard the flight to incite the resulting ovation.

The fully booked aircraft carried 180 passengers, including a large enough population of dumbasses to support each other through a round of applause on the tarmac.

“We were all so proud of the pilot and just happy to be back on the ground,” said applauding dumbass Karen Walters, age 42.

Another dumbass Eric Gardener, 26, offered insight into what could possibly possess him to clap in the event the aircraft did not crash. “Look, the way I see it, only two things can happen: you live or you die. So I’m pretty happy to be alive and clapping when that plane touches down.”

Disgruntled passenger Debbie Owens had less positive remarks to share. “Landing the plane isn’t even that climactic.” Adding that, “We still have to get to a gate and most of these people probably have to go to baggage claim a er. I mean we can’t even take our seatbelts o yet, so what are they clapping for? A fucking encore?”

Flight 247’s pilot, Oscar Magdaleno offered his perspective on the matter as well. “It’s nice to be appreciated, but I really wish they would just give it a fucking rest,” e pilot of 21 years explained that the planes “practically fly themselves” and that he “basically just calls air traffic control.”

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