Divided Nation Braces for Second Most Awkward Thanksgiving In Two Years


Though Thanksgiving will uncomfortable this year, it is expected to be slightly less horrible than it was last year.

Sources report that millions of Americans have begun bracing for what is expected to be the second most awkward Thanksgiving since the election of Donald Trump.

“Last time it was heated because the election was fresh on everyone’s minds,” stated local spunky aunt Abigail Lee. “It won’t be quite as bad this year, but with increasing national tension, all the silent glares across the table could make this the second most heated Turkey Day since last year.”

Many Americans share Lee’s sentiments.

“Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to love about Thanksgiving, not least of which the food,” explained area nephew Tyler Bloom, “but I get the shivers any time I think about hearing where Uncle Dale’s annual rant on ‘why he’s thankful for hunting rifles’ will go this year.”

Although most families report being able to put aside their differences once food is on the table, in the year following the election, it seems American families could not subdue their ideological disagreements. Following a year of Trump’s presidency, this year’s Thanksgiving is lined up to have the second most character jabs in two years.

At press time, most Americans were weighing just staying home to avoid seeing their racist cousin against the temptation of getting to eat a slice of that same cousin’s famous apple pie.


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