Citing his ownership of a Nikon Coolpix B500, recent reports confirm that local friend Thomas Miller’s elite photography skills are the only thing keeping him in the group right now.
“It’s not that we don’t like him,” said friend-group member Victor O’Neill, who has never spent time with Miller alone. “Thomas is totally nice and all. It’s just that there’s no way we’d be inviting him to hang out if he didn’t own such a nice camera.”
Miller, who reportedly bought the camera to pursue a photography hobby and now exclusively uses it for group photoshoots, family vacations, and trips to the zoo, was unaware of his precarious place in the friend group.
“I’m more of a behind-the-lens guy,” said Miller. “That’s why you won’t see me in any of the pictures of our crew. If I wanted to step in and star in some candid laughing shots with everyone, I’m sure they wouldn’t object. The problem is, who would take the picture?”
Group members, having heard murmurs that Miller was considering investing in a polaroid camera, sympathized with the photographer, not wanting to single him out as the least favorite of the posse.
“I don’t like to think of it as us using him for his Nikon,” said unofficial group alpha Jenna Almira, “We’ve all got something that makes people want to hang out with us. For Victor it’s his funny jokes, for me it’s my inviting personality, and for Thomas, it happens to be that he owns and understands the operation of a nice camera.”
Members of the group are reportedly hoping Miller does not figure out his camera’s timer so that he will remain behind the lens.