Citing a noticeable decline in the conversational tone between the two men, reports indicate that the banter between coworkers Robert Haley and Noam Burtkowski has grown increasingly more nihilistic in recent weeks.
Usually the source of comic relief at their mid-sized marketing agency, the rapport between the two has grown more and more misanthropic and increasingly compatible with the idea that life is meaningless.
“I used to love to hear them shoot the breeze,” reported Cindy Bosworth of HR, “they’d rib each other about sports or that one time Rob puked at the picnic.”
“But now, every conversation they have seems to end up in some dark place of spiritual anguish devoid of moral substance, questioning whether existence really has any meaning at all. It’s just nothing you want to hear about over coffee!”
The two coworkers, whose joking had in the past been marked by cynical back and forth on everything from dating to sports to politics, has reportedly taken a deep plunge into negativity and a deep skepticism that anything in the world even really exists at all. Water-cooler conversations that had once ended in uncontrollable fits of laughter now usually devolve into flippant musings on the futility of man and are concluded with shrugs and resigned “oh-wells” and “what’s- it-matter-anyways.”
“We used to have a funny little exchange every morning,” noted Mark Borcher, a veteran associate at the firm. “I’d always ask him how he’s doing and he’d always say “living the dream,” and we’d have a little chuckle and go about our day, but now I can barely get a “’hangin’ in there!’
At press time, Burtowski issued a statement reminding reporters that, “they are all equal in the grave.”
