Fuck! Café’s iPad Payment System Automatically Asks For 20% Tips

After nearly completing their orders for coffee and small pastries, patrons of Café Lola reported, “fuck, this iPad by the cash register is really suggesting a tip of around 20%.”

“Goddamn it, I’m about to look like an asshole,” said Café Lola customer, Aaron Spronsky, at the end of his order. “I like this cashier, but all she really did was put my croissant on a plate. Maybe I’ll give a dollar to not seem terrible.”

While most Café Lola customers indicated that they are completely fine with tipping at sit-down restaurants, and “really don’t want to seem like a douchebag,” many also question exactly why they are being put on the spot like this, for fuck’s sake.

“God, the iPad even shows the cashiers when you didn’t tip as soon as they spin it back around their way,” said customer, Laura Weber. “Maybe they won’t see that if I press ‘next customer.’ I would never have had this issue if I actually followed my dream of moving to Paris, where they don’t tip for shit.”

At press time, Café Lola employees were designing a tip jar bearing a clever plea, ensuring that customers paying in cash did not entirely escape the discomfort.

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