Every Car On Road In Rush To Get Carryout Pizza Home

The highway were jam-packed with takeout and delivery drivers just trying to get their pies to their destination.

Reports indicate that every driver on the road is in a rush to get their carryout pizza home before it gets cold. “Come on, move it!” stated every driver on I-94 South while exchanging glances with their recently purchased pepperoni pie.

Drivers across the US, many of whom are currently hurrying a pizza back to their daughter’s birthday party, all reported being anxious about its temperature. Other drivers reported they wanted to make it home in time to watch The Voice, but expressed the same concerns about their dinner’s temperature.

“I turned on the seat warmer and pointed the fans away from it,” driver John Davis said of the precaution he and all the other drivers had taken to ensure their pizza’s warmth. “But that’s not gonna keep it quite hot enough to taste oven fresh, so I can’t be wasting any time,” he added echoing the sentiments of all other drivers out at 6:15 in the evening.

In addition to hurrying their drive back, every driver also was careful to make turns slow enough to not shake the layer cheese around on top of their pie, but quickly sped back up afterward to make up for lost time.

“Almost there, just another minute now” stated the drivers leaving Pizza House, Hungry Howies, and various Cottage Inn locations while feeling the top of the box to see if it had retained its warmth. “I swear to god, I am not microwaving this.”

Upon arrival, drivers were seen fumbling for their front door keys before the frigid outdoors could cool off their various margarita, sausage and four-cheese pizzas anymore.

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