The beta aunts fought among themselves for baby holding order.
As the Perkins family enjoyed an Easter brunch on Sunday, a crowd of aunts gathered around their niece’s two-week-old baby like a pack of bloodthirsty wolves.
The infant’s mother, Talia Perkins, reported feeling “slightly unnerved by the intense attention” her aunts gave to her child. “Normally, I appreciate how affectionate they are,” Perkins commented, later adding, “but I don’t like the the way they’ve been eyeing Noah.”
Maternal aunt Karen Simmons was at Perkins’ side, anxiously grasping for the child shortly after the family had finished brunch. Simmons was seen whispering to the child for several minutes thereafter.
“He’s gotten so big,” Simmons remarked. “I could just eat him up!” As Noah was passed around by his aunts, those not holding the baby paced anxiously in the background, mentioning to each other how they “couldn’t wait to get [their] hands on him.” The aunts held a tight circular formation around the baby’s cradle as he napped.
“Ooh, he’s so cute,” commented aunt Lori Feldner later that evening. Feldner was quickly joined by three other aunts, who leaned in close to the baby and expressed similar sentiments.
At press time, the aunts were lurking at the edge of the trees as they watched Talia take Noah and her other children on a walk to the nearby park.
