It Unclear Why Second Half Of Union Subway Exists

Investigative reports were inconclusive.

Aggregations of student opinions reveal that no one is really sure why the second half of the Subway restaurant in the Union exists. Despite occupying a large portion of wall space in the basement of the Union, students have reported bewilderment at its continued emptiness for as long as they can remember.

“It just seems so unintuitive. Double the space would let the employees spread out and serve way more people,” explained perplexed junior Liam Stowe. “And yet, they just pretend it doesn’t exist. It looks like it used to serve smoothies. I would totally have bought a smoothie there.”

Much of the student body has voiced their agreement.

“I don’t even think I’ve seen anyone stand behind that part of the counter,” stated freshman Rob Tench. “I know I haven’t been here that long, but I heard from my senior friend that it’s been closed off for as long as he can remember too.”

While many remain confused, sources report that the one thing that is clear is the potential the space has. “I think that’s the saddest thing for me,” said sophomore Meg Crowley. “I’ve asked others too, and no one can comprehend why such a perfect spot for a Qdoba is being wasted.”

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