I bet you think you’re slick, huh? Sliding in under the radar, stealing one of our national holidays? Well not so fast you ignorant Americans. Before you can celebrate St. Patrick’s day with the rest of us true Irishmen, you must first prove your cultural prowess by naming 3 of the Lucky Charms Marshmallows.
I know what you all are thinking. “Blasphemous! How cruel!” Well my friends, you want to crash our day of boozing and cheer? Then you must complete this right of passage, just like the rest of us did when we were young spuds.
As a nation, we take great pride in our rich history and heritage. And it is disgraceful that you all feel entitled to putting on the green and white without so much as perusing the back of a lucky charms box. To you, these marshmallows are just a tasty ingredient in your breakfast cereal. But to us, these charms represent the values of our people, and the struggles that Mother Ireland had to endure to get to the place that she is today.
So before you do your research, don’t even think about getting kissed, you’re not Irish! Oh, and the clover doesn’t count!
