Now, listen here pardner. I know you think you can come in this here public middle school, guns a-blazing, but I’m the good guy with a gun ’round these parts and I reckon you’ve got another thing coming.
In my time as a gym teacher at Northern Middle School, I’ve patrolled these halls with the watchful eye of a hawk. I can tell you’re my snake in the grass. I’m gonna’ let you know right off: there ain’t room enough in this state-funded place of learning for the two of us.
If you want to pass on through this public school in one piece, then you best keep on strolling, sonny. Since you’re the riff-raff I think you are, and on God, I know you’ll try to pull some funny business? Well, I, a good guy with a gun entrusted to me by my government, will give you the ole what for.
I’ll tell you straight off—if it’s an old-fashioned shoot-out you’re looking for, it’s a shoot-out you’ll get—‘cepting you’ll be the one going out. With this here sharpshooter I’ll continue to keep Northern Middle School safe from slitherin’ men like you and your legally purchased, military-grade firearms. Don’t think I won’t! Why don’t you git before you get got! You hear me? And don’t come round these parts no more!
