Also, the nation’s football players announced they’d prefer not to use the term ‘pigskin’ so much when referring to a casual game of catch.
Today in a joint statement, the nation’s top b-ball players have recommended, “just calling the game basketball like a normal human being.”
The hoopsters, who have also pleaded to be referred to as “players”, are demanding a complete banishment of the nickname. “After much debate and discussion, we as a collective whole have determined that there is no reason to ever refer to basketball as b-ball,” said Rob Ferguson, the spokesperson for the dunkmen.
“It’s not cool, it’s not funny, and above all it’s insulting to the game,” he continued, referring to name. Other dribble-dudes have expressed the belief that this nickname is also unfair to other sports.
“Baseball, broomball, and beach volleyball, among others, could all be called b-ball just as easily,” said Ferguson. “What makes us so special that we reserve the rights to that name?” “We don’t call soccer s-ball, so why should basketball be any different?,” Ferguson later continued. “Alliteration? Give me a break.”
“The Manic” Ferguson also insisted on eliminating nicknames for b-ball players, stating that “basketball isn’t fucking WWE.”
At press time, The Manic and his fellow hoopsters were unfortunately seen hitting the field for a good old round of b-ball.