Thank You For Your Purchase Of A Class Ring! That Means We’re Married Now

Thank you for your purchase, graduate! Your new class ring is a reminder of the past four years you’ve spent here – the friendships forged, the causes fought for, the knowledge learned — and with this token you’ll never forget it. Most importantly, now that you just put on the ring, it means we’re married now.

Wow, I can’t believe you didn’t know that, you big dum dum. We’re married, nothing you can do about it. You took the ring, so no givesies-backsies. Seriously, how did you not know?  Everybody knows that. It’s just how it works.

The Michigan Yearbook committee is committed to preserving the memories of its students and the valor of this great university, and with this ring you can brag that you shared in the legacy of the most beloved school on earth. It’ll also broadcasts to the world that you’re taken, and that we are a jealous spouse. We made our unspoken vows the minute you handed over the cash. This marriage will last until the end of our days. Or until you take off the ring, whatever comes first.

Our class rings come in either silver signet form or traditional gold with a blue jewel so that you can find the one just right for you. And it looks like you went with the gold, just like we hoped. Now we’re going to tell people that you’re a big romantic hubby and everyone will know.

Now that we’ve got marriage out of the way, that means you need to take us on our honeymoon.

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