7 Things Taller Than Your Grandfather

  1. Most Trees

Unless it’s some bullshit little baby tree, there’s a solid chance that, like, 98% of all the trees on the planet are taller than your grandpa. Fuck you.

  1. Statues of Dead People

Hell, even a statue of an alive person probably has 2 feet on your wrinkly-ass grandsire. Tell Pop-Pop to straighten up his aged spine and maybe he won’t be the shortest chump out there.

  1. Mount Everest

This motherfucker is taller than anything on the planet. You think your grandfather has a snowball’s chance in hell? Get out of here.

  1. Mount Denali

There are like 10 mountains taller than this one, but it’s still taller than your bitch-ass grandad.

  1. Every Other Mountain

You know what? Mountains are significantly tall geological structures, so it’s probably not super fair to include all of them on a list of things that are vertically superior to Old Grampy.

  1. This Lamp Post

There are probably shorter lamp posts out there, but we sure don’t know about them.

  1. My Mega Grandfather

Little did you know that my maternal and paternal grandfathers glued themselves together to morph into one mega-grandpa. Standing at a respectable 8’7”, Megapa clearly outclasses your weak grandpa any day.

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