- Most Trees
Unless it’s some bullshit little baby tree, there’s a solid chance that, like, 98% of all the trees on the planet are taller than your grandpa. Fuck you.
- Statues of Dead People
Hell, even a statue of an alive person probably has 2 feet on your wrinkly-ass grandsire. Tell Pop-Pop to straighten up his aged spine and maybe he won’t be the shortest chump out there.
- Mount Everest
This motherfucker is taller than anything on the planet. You think your grandfather has a snowball’s chance in hell? Get out of here.
- Mount Denali
There are like 10 mountains taller than this one, but it’s still taller than your bitch-ass grandad.
- Every Other Mountain
You know what? Mountains are significantly tall geological structures, so it’s probably not super fair to include all of them on a list of things that are vertically superior to Old Grampy.
- This Lamp Post
There are probably shorter lamp posts out there, but we sure don’t know about them.
- My Mega Grandfather
Little did you know that my maternal and paternal grandfathers glued themselves together to morph into one mega-grandpa. Standing at a respectable 8’7”, Megapa clearly outclasses your weak grandpa any day.
